The Secret.

So, today during my morning sesh on the trainer, I had an epiphany. I realized there was no way I was going to be able to get back on the trainer again. The key to life is knowing your limits. I’ve hit mine on the trainer. So, plan B. Freeze. I’m going to let you in on a little secret of how to avoid freezing to death when it’s cold out. I’m not sure how cold it was today, because secret numero uno…ignorance is bliss. Don’t look at the weather, under any circumstance. All you need to know is that it’s cold.

Now, I’m not going to list off the clothing I wear. On days like today..if you own it wear it. That’s no secret, that’s common sense. If you really want to stay warm you need this:

Da Down By Da Beach Mon Mix! Now take a moment and re-read the title like you were Jamaican. Here is the secret: the only true way to stay warm on frigid days is to have steel drums banging on your ear drums. Once you have it (Cue Jamaican accent again) Everting will be Irey. Here is a sampling…

Track 1. Pressure Drop by Toots & The Maytals. This is a good one to start with because it works on a meteorological level as well.

Track 2. “The Harder they Come” by Jimmy Cliff

Track 3. Jamaica Mistaica by Jimmy Buffet

Track 4. Cherry Oh Baby by The Rolling Stones

Track 5. Don’t Turn Around by Aswad (Heed the track title)

Track 6. Nice Weather for Ducks by Lemon Jelly.

Track 7. The Banana Boat Song (Day-O) by Harry Belafonte

Track 8. Waiting in Vain by Bob Marley and The Wailers

Track 9. Longer Boats by Cat Stevens

Track 10. Dreadlock Holiday by 10cc

Bonus Track. Give it To Me by The J. Geils Band

The secret is out. Use it responsibly, it doesn’t make you invincible. But it will get you a good extra 20 or 30 seconds. Also be sure to apply SPF 50 sunscreen if you plan on using it.

Stay tuned to It Sounds Like I’m in An Igloo which has a tentative release date of July 13. Produced by Wa Wa Wenzel Beats.

I think I’m going skate skiing tomorrow becuase it’s easier to ski in the snow, than ride your bike in it.